I acted like a complete git. I was scared Dean would hate me because I suggested we should shag but now I bloody know he does! How could I say things like that? Words just wouldn't come out right. I care about him so much, how things like this can be so difficult? Oh god I'm having such a headache, I fucking banged my head too hard on the wall. I swear I'm not going to sleep tonight. I will be too busy thinking back the idiocies I said.
...Oh, and Pansy, I talked to Neville about the clover thing, and he gave me this spell. I wrote it down because I'm afraid I won't be able to do it without days of practice. I'll give it to you the next time I see you.
He likes me, Dean fucking likes me. At least, he did. Things went so wrong. I know what I did was unforgivable, but I was being honest. I tried telling I had feelings for him but he wouldn't believe me. I started on the wrong path, I know. I just wish there was some way I could just erase the past, just like that. But that would be selfish, because then I wouldn't have to clean after my messes.