I'd rather not think about that, anyway, because I'm always happy when I think of the present moment. Or the past even. I just don't like to contemplate on what might lie ahead. That's all.
I realized that I miss Pansy more than I thought I would. She was filling that void in me. It wasn't love, because I wouldn't consider we were in a relationship, of any kind. Only friends. Even if we chose to cross the line, once. No, it was more like a mutual understanding and trust. It's never the same, but I still think I get that. And that. Is what I want.